What’s in your Glass?
“To be upset over what you don’t have is to waste what you do have.” ~Ken Keyes
In the endless debate regarding “Is the glass half full, or half empty?”, I think we miss the point. A better question would be, “Can you see your glass as half empty AND half full at the same time?” After all, the important concept here is actually the glass. That glass represents our lives. The flexibility to see both the positive and negative enriches our life. When we are locked into only one way of seeing the world, then our view is truncated and our experience limited.
Wherever you are this holiday week and whatever you are doing, take a few moments to notice how extraordinary it can feel when you experience completely different feelings–simultaneously. We human beings can grieve for what is lost and at the same time, rejoice in what is.
All of us have experienced this disparity of feeling – the birth of a baby is celebrated while we are grieving the loss of a family member. A grave illness is diagnosed and a child gets engaged. Many people new in recovery rejoice in their sobriety but grieve “their old way of life” even while acknowledging how toxic that behavior was. We frequently find ourselves with contradictory experiences and colliding emotions. We may feel compelled to choose one feeling over another because rejoicing and mourning at the same time seems …well, wrong.
But we don’t have to choose- in fact, the ability to embrace these seemingly diametrically opposed feelings is the gift of flexible perception. This flexibility allows us to grieve fully our loss while we rejoice in the laughter of a baby, the beauty of a fresh snowfall or a good piece of chocolate. These small pleasures can soothe our pain even if just for a second. Conversely, when we are celebrating great moments of joy, the flexibility of perception allows us to feel empathy and compassion for others who are less fortunate. It can help us maintain a world view that takes us beyond our own momentary joy or despair. Flexibility enriches our life experience.
We tend to enter into these frenzied days of celebration with preset and rigid expectations. We concern ourselves with questions of “enough”- Have we have bought enough, done enough, spent enough, cooked enough? We are so focused on “filling the glass”, we may forget to stop and notice what we already have in our glass. Often relationships and possessions, once treasured, are now taken for granted.
In this season of celebration, let us remember that our glass is both empty and full. We grieve for what have we lost, but can rejoice in the many gifts we have in our lives. Let us treasure them all, old and new alike and take a moment to appreciate our glass.
“Life is an attitude. Have a good one.” -Eric L. Lungaard
