Dear Diet,

Well, there is no easy way to say this, but our relationship just isn’t working for me. Day in and day out, there is hardly any variation, I feel empty and my resentment growing. Valentine’s Day was such a struggle: there was nothing sweet about that day and that reflects our entire relationship. I feel constantly deprived. I need more.

I want you to know my discontent is not about you, it is about me. You have tried to provide me with a healthy relationship but it feels hollow and routine and so restrictive. I miss the sweet highs and lows of something more filling. I am so bored. We don’t even go out to eat anymore and if we do I am left yearning for more. I envy those around me; I feel a constant hollowness in my gut. Everyone seems to have so much more on their plate!

I remember the night we were introduced all those years ago; it was at business party. I noticed a skinny waif-like woman in a lovely pink silk sheath, daintily munching on a raw carrot. I was in my black “swing” dress with crème puff goo in the corners of my mouth. We struck up a conversation and then she introduced us. At first, I thought you were the one for me. I could see us together forever! I tried. I really did.

I confess I have been “lusting in my heart” for Godiva and Lindt. Chunky Monkey winks at me. New York Cheesecake is calling. Just to set the record straight, I have cheated on you a couple of times; once before Christmas there was a one night stand with raw cookie dough. Then, a holiday party where I hooked up with a bowl of M&M’s. I have been (mostly) faithful to our commitment since those dalliances, but temptation is everywhere.

I cannot imagine living like this for the rest of my life. I know, I have said this before yet have returned to you; contrite and regretful; begging you to take me back. And there you are; rock steady with a plan that I know makes sense. But, for now, I need to explore my options and do so without guilt.

So, Good-bye for now. I am sure I will be back….perhaps when the Easter Candy is just a memory…

But definitely before swimsuit season.

 

 

 

© 2016 Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a psychotherapist in private practice in Farmington, CT since 1986. She has a special interest in working with people dealing with life transitions. She is the author of the award winning From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce which is available in Kindle format for $9.99 as well as in paperback. Her love affair with chocolate is temporarily suspended, but the candy aisle is calling.

The Love of My Life

Valentine’s Day celebrates our connection to others- our partners, our family and friends. I know, it is a “Hallmark Holiday”, yet it is valuable as it reminds us not to take those we love for granted. On Valentine’s Day, we make a conscious effort to tell those in our life just how much they mean […]

Fighting Winter Despair

Here we are in the post-holiday pall. While the holidays are difficult for those who have experienced a loss of any kind, they are stressful to some degree for all of us. We eat too much, drink too much, spend too much and in many cases have “too much” family or possibly, too little. And […]

Dealing with Loss during the Holidays

Here we are in the holiday season being bombarded with messages of Be Jolly! Be Joyous!  Be Happy! Get that Holiday Spirit! Yet, do you find yourself suddenly feeling sad or with a lump rising in your throat? Do you find the simplest song, phrase, or even a smell has you welling up with tears […]