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       Recently an article appeared in Huffington Post exploring how women feel about changing their name when they married. According to knot.com who conducted a survey of 19,000 women who married last year, 86% of those surveyed took their husbands’ name. It got me thinking…what percentage of women keep their husband’s name after divorce and why?

    “To change or not to change” usually comes under consideration at some point in a woman’s divorce process. If she hyphenated her name when she married, had a short-term marriage or did not have children, she usually opts to return to her birth name. The situation is more complex when the marriage is longer term, there are children, or a woman uses her married name professionally.

       Some divorcing mothers are hesitant to change back to their birth name because they feel it will be confusing for the children to have a different last name. They are concerned that a greater alliance will exist with the father because of the shared name. If you choose not to change your name because you feel it will impact your children negatively, then what happens if you remarry? (I know, right now you are saying “Never!”, but admit this is a possibility!). Your intended is probably not going to be happy if you keep another man’s name. So, you may end up changing your name anyway! What message does that give your children about how you value and identify yourself when you will change your name for another person but not for yourself? In truth, most children do not care about the name issue. As the divorce rate continues to escalate, remarriages are not uncommon and women today (at least that 14% identified in the above cited research) keep their birth name when they marry, so children with different names than their parents are not unusual.

       If your concerns are professional: That is just a problem of logistics. You can begin to use your maiden name as your middle name, and then drop your husband’s name when the divorce is final. Or you can add your maiden name at the end, using your husband’s name as a middle name, and then delete it after the divorce. Some women simply send a notice.  “Joan M. Smith announces that effective January 1, 2012, she will use the name Ms. Joan Madison.” Friends will know the change is due to the divorce, colleagues will probably not ask and business associates won’t care. It won’t be as big a deal to them as it is to you.

     Or consider this possibility: Some women actually use divorce as an opportunity to create an entirely different last name. Unhappy to carry their former husband’s name and yet not entirely enthusiastic about returning to their maiden name these women actually pick a new last name. They may choose the name of an admired ancestor or a hybrid of either name –possibly changing the spelling or shortening it. Some even choose a name with no significance or history simply because they like it or it has personal meaning.

       The process is really not as involved as it may seem. The final divorce decree can include a clause about officially dropping your husband’s name and adding your new one. True, there is a period of running around changing your driver’s license, insurance documents, etc. However, many women confirm that changing their name creates a clean slate. For some it signifies taking back some power they feel they may have lost during the marriage. For others, a name change symbolizes the beginning of a new life chapter.

       Regardless of whether you keep your current name or change it, think about what your name means to you and what it says about you. Does your name represent how you see yourself now or who you used to be?  

 So, to change or not to change?

 What did you choose to do about your name when you married? If you are divorced, did you choose to change your name or keep it? If you remarried, did you change your name again? What were your reasons for your decision? Are you pleased with your choice or do you regret it?

 Please share your story.

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49 Comments

  1. CJ Golden on the 01. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    After my first marriage, I changed my last name to that of my husband – ’twas just the way it was done back then and I sure wasn’t about to buck “the norm”. Once divorced – even though my parents suggested I reclain my maiden name – I chose to keep my married one. I was not that young girl who had borne the old maiden name. Now remarried, I toyed with keeping the old married name for a nanosecond – to match the last name of my children. But my husband and I are such a strong unity that it became a no-brainer to adopt his last name as mine. Glad I did. He’s helped me continue to grow into the woman I am today and will continue to help me find my own identity, I know, for the remainder of our days together (which I assume will be for many, many years to come). I am tuly CJ Golden and wouldn’t want any other last name!

  2. Dorthy S on the 01. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    Thanks for posting the article, was certainly a great read!

  3. Sue C on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    I am in the process of divorce and stated in the papers that I wanted to go back to my maiden name – after two divorces felt it was time to start again ! Interesting reading and has given me food for thought. Thank you…..

  4. Annie on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    Great Blog! It really is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong. For me, changing back to my maiden name back, gave me back my identity.

  5. Sarah on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    This is really interesting, and has me thinking… I kept my name, mostly because it has been my last name for over half my life, and I do identify myself with that name. And it’s not just about having the same last name as my child either. I identify with being a member of a family with that last name, still.

    However, what had not occurred to me until recently, after talking with a friend about my ex-husbands impending marriage, I really do not want to have the same last name as his future wife. Enough so that I was thinking about changing it back. I hadn’t ever thought about changing it to a different family name though, that is food for thought!

    Really interesting Donna!

    • admin on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

      Good point. When you keep your ex’s last name and he remarries then you share that name with his new wife.

  6. Patti Pokorchak on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    I have an unusual last name and I ended marrying a ‘Secretain’, not “Smith – (I used to joke that I”d hyphen my name to Patti P-S). But having been Patti Pokorchak for 47 years, why would I give up my name just because I got married!?!

    For all the logistical reasons mentioned above, and especially professionally, I’d always opt or recommend that you stick with the name that you were born. And yes, you call me an old women’s libber as we used to be called but to me, it’s my identiy and why should that change with marriage?

    My sister-in-law, who was on radio and tv temporarily changed her lovely short last name to ours and realized her mistake within a few weeks. They’ve been married for over 34 years, so obviously that hasn’t affected their relationship.

    Anyways, I”m now divorced and very happy that I still have my original name that I’ll keep forever.

  7. Maria on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    When I married It seemed appropriate to take my husbands last name, mostly because of time honored traditions. When he told me he wanted to divorce I felt that switching my surname back to my maiden name came with some hassles but it was well worth the effort not to have to write his last name on a daily basis. It no longer felt relevant to my identity as we no longer were together. As for my children–It did not bother me that we had different surnames. They had no problem with getting used to my name change, in fact, they had encountered other women who had done the same thing–teachers that went through divorce and had resumed using maiden names part way through the school year. That made it easier for them to accept my decision since they had seen it done all ready in another setting. As for my next marriage, if ever there is one…. Well I have decided that I like my name just the way it is. After all the hard work of becoming the me that I am, I don’t want to change my name yet again!!

  8. Pat on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    I am in the middle of going through my divorce. I am not thrilled with my maiden name or my married name. In fact I don’t care for my first name either. I have been playing with the idea of changing the whole thing but not sure professionaly what that would do. I have a few months to decide glad this blog came along.

    • admin on the 02. Oct, 2011 remarked #

      Do you like your middle name? Have an ancestor you admire? Or a name that for other reasons has a special meaning? Now, is a good time to make the change!

  9. cycleboy on the 03. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    “Should women change their name when they change their marital status?”

    “Should men change their name when they change their marital status?”

    As the second question of most people and you would get a look of incomprehension. Why? Obviously, I know that the idea of women changing their names is culturally ‘normal’, but my question is why?

    I have never yet heard an explanation why either having two X chromosomes makes one less attached to a name or why possessing a Y chromosome makes you preternaturally attached to a surname. After all, surnames are far too recent an invention to be encoded in our genes. Besides, 50% of the world’s population don’t change their names on marriage (assuming their particular culture even has them). Therefore, the whole question is purely cultural.

    So, until someone can give me a sound reason for why a MAN should change his surname, I fail to see why anyone should go through any mental anguish on this question at all.

  10. Tamton on the 04. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    Great post. Some great points you discuss in there.

  11. Chip Mues on the 10. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    Donna-
    One other consideration about the restoration of a former name is the hassle of dealing with the Social Security Administration. It may sound insignificant but often the “tie-braker” I have seen in my 30 plus year divorce practice is this concern along with the worry of somehow losing accrued retirement benefits. Here is a link to an article that I wrote on the topic which also dealing with the issue of whether the Husband can compel a spouse to drop his surname. Here is a link to it. http://dld.bz/atS5u
    Excellent article Donna!

    • admin on the 10. Oct, 2011 remarked #

      Thanks, Chip!

  12. BobF on the 17. Oct, 2011 remarked #

    My birth name was Robert Hoskins. When I was 22, I married a woman whose last name was Kroft. She had two children (both named Kroft) and although I didn’t adopt them, we agreed that it would be simpler if all of us were named Kroft. So I took her last name when we married. Over ten years went by, I made somewhat of a name for myself in my field as “Bob Kroft,” and then we got divorced. It was fairly amicable and when it came to the “last name” decision I decided to stick with Kroft, for several reasons. Well, five years ago, I met my wife, whose last name is Finn. When we decided to get married, the name issue came up. It was out of the question for she and me to both bear my ex’s last name and she was kind of freaked out by the idea of me staying as Kroft even if she still stayed as Finn. Another option was for both of us to adopt Hoskins, my original surname. But that would mean that both of us would change. In the end, it was easier for me to simply take her name. So I did. I’m now Robert Finn.

    • admin on the 17. Oct, 2011 remarked #

      Thank you for sharing your story. This may inspire others to explore creative options.

  13. Noelle on the 18. Nov, 2011 remarked #

    When I got married at age 24, I did not question whether or not to keep my maiden name. It was not a “big deal” to me at the time. I was more interested in the imagined ideal and romanticism of starting my own family, complete with the traditional trappings.
    It was during the first few years of my marriage and shortly after the birth of my first child that I began to think differently about the subject. You see, during those first years of “wedded bliss,” and as I began to settle into my new roles, I started to understand more fully what my decision meant. It was not just my own new, nuclear family that I was claiming, but husbands as well.
    My in-laws routinely made remarks surrounding the way things were done, and included me in their remarks, because after all, I was “a (insert surname here) now.” I clearly remember thinking to myself – these are your traits, characteristics (and in some cases, dysfunctions)! They are not mine!
    And, I thought very differently about the choice I had made.
    I was not “one of them.” Not when it came to the canvas that formed my identity and shaped my values, my politics, and how I would choose to live my life. I knew then that I had discarded an important piece of me without giving it any thought. I also realized, even in my mid-twenties, that I did not have the life experience to truly understand what my birth name meant to me on the day I took my vows. And I took back my maiden name, opting to hyphenate it with my husbands.
    Two more children, and seventeen years later, I am in the midst of ending that twenty year marriage. As I begin to prepare to drop the hyphen and my married name, acquire new clichés like “displaced homemaker” and “divorcee,” and lose the title of “Mrs.,” the one thing I take comfort in knowing was never lost is my own identity – literally and figuratively. For that I am most grateful.

  14. Jackie on the 18. Nov, 2011 remarked #

    When my soon to be second husband proposed-I struggled with name changing for about a day until i found out i could keep my current name from former marriage as a second middle name.

    When i got divorced i kept my married name. Mostly because of the discrimination surrounding my spanish ancestry maiden name(not to mention i dont look hispanic at all) and also because my children carried my ex husband’s name and I wanted to maintain a sense of family connection for them.

    That sense of family connection was even more critical with my youngest son. You see he’s adopted and all his adoption paperwork has my current last name.
    Once i remarry if i were to drop my first husband’s name my son could potentially have problems years down the road legally proving a family connection to me. Especially once i have passed on. Last thing i want is for him to struggle with legalities of my estate and having to prove that i am his mom.

    So my current name & on son’s adoption paperwork ‘Jacqueline xxxxx XXXXXX’ would remain but be changed to
    Jacqueline xxxxxx BBBBBBB XXXXXXX
    With my current last name “BBBBBBB” becoming my second middle name.
    Short version for everyday writing will be Jacqueline XXXXXXX.

  15. Don H on the 18. Jan, 2012 remarked #

    Great stuff! Seriously.

  16. Hannah B on the 28. Jan, 2012 remarked #

    When you get divorced, you don’t deserve to keep that family name. You are no longer a member of that family. I cannot believe it is even legal to keep it.

  17. Cynthia C on the 10. Mar, 2012 remarked #

    I agree with Hanna… I believe a law should be put into place, returning the exwife to her maiden name. If you marry you have an option to take his name, when you divorce you loose this option. It also believe it would help protect men and women from confusion when the ex uses the name illegally thru medical billing, loans and credit after the divorce. It would certainly help with the mental, emotional and physical end needed these days. People have lost a scense of dignity and the ability to move on. Women I believe are becoming extremely toxic in this area more than ever. Very unfortunate, to see this decline in the females as well as what we have witnessed in men for decades :(

  18. Medy on the 20. Apr, 2012 remarked #

    I am in the process of divorce right now.I don’t have a child with my husband and I don’t plan to change my married name just now because of professional reason.When I left my country I was a teacher and my colleagues know that I am coming here in the US to marry my fiance.After divorce I will be back to my country to resume my profession.I don’t want to create any hassle why I still have my maiden name.So I am using my married name.

  19. Kathy on the 22. Apr, 2012 remarked #

    I did keep my ex husbands name after divorce because we have two children and it keeps me connected to them by our names and the love and respect I have for that part of my life. I am often questioned if I will always keep the last name, and yes, I would never deface that part of them in my last name. I am currently remarried and when my fiance and I went to get our marriage license the clerk had suggested I keep the children’s last name and said it was very common with women who were previously married with children involved to do that for staying connected for school and legal reasons. it just keeps things less complicated. I had intended to do that anyways, but my husband to be did not really want me to. But after the Clerks comments, I think it eased his mind a bit. I did not do it for my ex, but for my wonderful children.

  20. Leslie on the 16. Jun, 2012 remarked #

    I think the right to keep the name belongs to the woman. Especially, if she has children. Divorce isn’t always the wive’s fault. It is unfair to penalize her professionally, and have tons of questions about the name change, as well as incongruency with school records (for the kids) when for the most part, men walk away from divorce with no outside changes. There is no judgement or assumptions. So, I plan to keep my married last name. I worked hard to be recognized by married name, I’m not going to go through it all over again.

  21. KIm on the 23. Jul, 2012 remarked #

    I want to change my last name but am struggling. I divorced a long time ago but kept x-husbands last name. it’s my sons name & i didn’t want to give up that bond. My son is grown now & probably wouldn’t care. But It makes me feel connected to my son. On the other hand keeping my x’s name feels wrongly connected to him. I’m not part of his family anymore. but it is my son’s & my son & I are a family. I’m torn. it feels unfair that traditionaly women are expected to take a mans name then upon divorce, the woman is on the outs name wise and the man & children get to keep that bond.

    • Donna Ferber on the 24. Jul, 2012 remarked #

      Women give up their name when they get married and it doesn’t change their relationship with their own parents, why do you think it will change the relationship or “bond” you have with your son? If changing your name makes you happy, it will also make your adult son happy. Relationships and families are formed and held together by much, much more than a name. Best of luck!

  22. Marie on the 09. Aug, 2012 remarked #

    This is good stuff. I was divorced two years ago and have 2 children. My ex and I both work at the same place. And, now his new wife also works here. So, now I am considering changing my name back to my maiden name. I have a professional presence that is known throughout my industry but I think over time it will fix itself. I actually think this would be less confusing to my children because I already explained to them when the new wife came into the picture that there is only one “Mrs. XXXXX”. What is the difference if you go back to your maiden name or if you take on another married name? If I were to marry the man that I have been seeing, my name is going to change anyway. I would rather gain my sense of self back and deal with the issues that go along with changing my name then keep his name. I have to give it some more thought but this helped!

  23. Eunice booker on the 11. Aug, 2012 remarked #

    Hello girls
    Well I’ve been married for 5 yrs my husbands ex still has his last name and I em not thrilled about it what is there to do?

  24. C C on the 18. Aug, 2012 remarked #

    After 12 years of marriage (from a young 23 years of age), I had been really confused about the whole last name issue. I took on my husband’s last name because he requested it but was way too common (to the point that there are FIVE different women with my same name at my gynecologist office). I wasn’t sure how it would be for my kids or professional life, not to mention traveling abroad (which I do a lot of with my kids) and the questioning of officials at the airport I have been hesitant. Your article gave me the extra push I needed to change my name – my soon to be ex husband will be married shortly after our divorce and I think it should be “available” for his next wife.

    Thank you for such a wonderful article!

    • Donna Ferber on the 19. Aug, 2012 remarked #

      Thanks for your comments. I agree. Changing one’s name after divorce does not damage your connection to your children, it only helps foster the connection you have with yourself.

  25. Heather B on the 25. Aug, 2012 remarked #

    Thanks for the advice and comments. This has been a difficult decision for not only myself, as well as my new husband (that is un-bothered by almost anything). In fact, I was so surprised that it bothered him and didn’t realize how much until he told the restaurant, “Two for Mister B****” and gave them my current/ex-husband’s last name. I kept mine after divorce because I had entered a new profession, where contacts were important. Now almost ten years later I have remarried and my new husband is not comfortable with me keeping my ex’s name. I’m not either, especially because my high school sweetheart and I are finally back together (& my ex was an a**). However, I have always been known by the one name since I started a new career about 8 years ago. I have noticed in my profession people always say, “you know Mary Jones…used to be Mary Wright” and sometimes they do or don’t, but I always noticed the exasperation involved. I can’t blame them…it is hard enough for people to get names right without changing them! Not to mention, at work I’d have to get a new email address with my new Smith like last name, change 15-20 log-on names (seriously) and let my peers know who I am now when I decide it is time for a change….Honestly, I think if it weren’t for the hassle at work with the email and all the program names that would need to be changed I wouldn’t mind it, but it is daunting to think about redoing and remembering them if I do so! (oh, no children from either marriage)

  26. Toni on the 26. Aug, 2012 remarked #

    Ugh! This is SUCH a hard decision and it doesnt seem like it should be. I am recently separated, working toward a divorce, from my childhood sweetheart. We made it just 2 months shy of 11 years. (started dating when we were just 16). We have a beautiful son together who, of course, has my ex’s name. His family is a group of terrible people – always have been, always will be, and him and I actually considered him taking MY last name when we married almost 2 years ago. In the end, I was proud to take his name ONLY because it was HIS, not because it belonged to his family. I didnt think it would be an issue, but in the 2 years since I changed my name to his Ive had several incidences where I get a strange look from someone when they see that I’m “a H******”. (his family name is sort of notorious in our small town, not in a good way, and he has suffered being a member of this family his whole life). I didnt think it would bother me, but it did. I had to explain to random people at my dr’s ofifce or at the grocery store that I’m not on of THOSE H*****’s – I married the good one LOL. But nonetheless, I do want to keep my married name because of our son, but I am also disgusted to belong (even if just by name) to him and his family even a second longer. To be honest I realized relatively quickly after I changed it that, if not for the fact that our son has his name, I shouldve kept my married name. Decisions decisions! It doesnt seem as if either way will be any better than the other.

    • Donna Ferber on the 27. Aug, 2012 remarked #

      Have you thought about hyphenating your last name? It may be awkward sounding but you will get used to it.By putting your maiden name first, it will diminsh the emphasis on your married name, yet you will still keep the association with your son.

  27. Benita Balthazar on the 18. Oct, 2012 remarked #

    Three years after my first husband died, I married my Hugh school sweetheart, and changed my name to his. I had two sons from my first marriage, and there are now five grandchildren. Now, after 12 years, my second husband and I are divorcing and I would like to re-assume my first husband’s name,.

  28. Donna on the 25. Oct, 2012 remarked #

    Thanks for your great article! The issues you addressed helped to re-affirm my reasons for not returning to my maiden name. When the divorce was final, I thought about returning to my maiden name but I felt that my holding a name different than my children would somehow disconnect us on a certain level. I was married for 16 years and even though the divorce itself was devastating, I still cherish the many wonderful years and memories with my husband and then with our children as a family known by my married name. I also built a great career under my married name and felt it would be too complicated and awkward if I needed to change jobs and ask for recommendations. After all, nobody that I knew professionally knew my maiden name. I hope to fall in love again and remarry one day. I sure by that time, the issues with my kids (who are soon off to college) and my career will no longer apply. I’m very conservative when it comes to marriage, so if I do re-marry, I will most definitely take my second husband’s name.

  29. lnp on the 28. Oct, 2012 remarked #

    i got a divorce and have two passports. in one i have my madien name and in the other i have my divorcee last name. i kinda like the name, but i am divorced, and i heard he got remarried, so i guess i need to change it. It’s a famous last name, and i just can’t seem to get rid of it. i guess i have to.

    • Donna Ferber on the 28. Oct, 2012 remarked #

      If you like it, why not keep it? Just make sure you pick one or the other to use as your legal name, otherwise things can get confusing.

  30. Gab on the 31. Oct, 2012 remarked #

    This is the best article I have come across, thanks so much for posting! I am currently separated and filing for divorce very soon. I have contemplated back and forth on whether or not I would change my last name back to my maiden name when my divorce is final. I was never fond of my maiden name, so the thought of going back to it isn’t very exciting. It was hard for people to pronounce it and socially it wasn’t very popular. On the other hand, the thought of keeping my soon to be ex husband’s last name makes me feel like I will not be able to fully close this chapter in my life. Also, I hope to one day re-marry and I would not want to have any connection with my ex when I meet someone new. I’m leaning more and more towards changing my last name back to my maiden name simply to gain my identity back and to move forward in my life.

  31. Anne on the 08. Nov, 2012 remarked #

    So, my maiden name is of French decent and I spent my childhood having to spell it and pronounce it because no one EVER got it right. At 21, I married and took my husbands name. It was of Italian decent. The spelling had the word penis in it and if pronounced incorrectly, well, that was always such a treat. I had this name for 20 yrs. When we divorced, I took back my maiden name and I swear I had moments of childhood PTSD. “how do you say your name”? Ugh! When I remarried 10 yrs ago, I gladly took my husbands last name. Easy, common and no one asked a thing. We are now separated and will eventually divorce. I like my last name. My soon to be ex and I are very much friends. No animosity. However, I was his 4th wife and his 3rd wife kept the name because of their two children. I feel this name already has too many owners. Since we have no children, for some strange reason, it really doesn’t feel as though it belongs to me. Plus, for the last 35 years. I have not been on my own. My life. My choices. I think I’m leaning toward looking into my family line and taking a name from the past. The sky is the limit and there’s something very liberating about doing this.

    • Donna Ferber on the 08. Nov, 2012 remarked #

      Looking into your past, finding a name of an ancestor that you feel connected with, can result in your having a name that ultimately reflects who you are. I agree, very liberating. Even if you find a name from your past with difficult spelling you can always “americanize” it to make it easier to say and spell, plus it will be uniquely yours! Good luck in your search!

  32. M on the 21. Nov, 2012 remarked #

    After now being separated and the divorce final, I’ve had a year and half to think about this. Being a strong, independent woman, my only choice was to want to completely drop my ex’s last name and start clean…however, I have 2 beautiful children with him that share his name of course. I am not the same woman I was with my maiden name, so going back to that is not a choice either. So after much debate, here is what I came up with, w the help from my amazing 6yo daughter who is as ridiculous as it sounds, is my best friend. She is so mature, intelligent and articulate at such a young age, I feel as though I’m speaking to a grown up, scary lol. Anyway, after losing my mother, another strong woman 10 years ago, when we had a lil girl, my only choice was to of course have her middle name be my mother’s, Rose…so in a nutshell, my daughter informed me, “Mom, you love flowers, you can be named after your Mom and Me…why don’t you let your new last name be just that…R***.” And like a year of struggle in trying to find a new identity which I had lost in my marriage, there it was right in front of me. Nestled between generations of my mother and my daughter, I had found my new identity and the start of something I had longed for years. In keeping with my kids names, as much as I don’t want to, I will be hyphenating it with my former married name so no confusion as to me being part of my children ‘legally’. However, when I am to introduce myself to new friends, I will simply be but a Rose. So my word of advice to you all…find something that makes sense to you and you alone, and don’t be afraid to look right under your nose to find it…lol

    • Donna Ferber on the 21. Nov, 2012 remarked #

      What a great story! Yes, sometimes the answer is “right under your nose”. Thanks for sharing your story!.

  33. Thanks very interesting blog!

  34. Diane on the 07. Aug, 2013 remarked #

    I divorced my husband, and reclaimed my maiden name. I remarried him but under my married name. Is this a legal marriage?

    • Donna Ferber on the 08. Aug, 2013 remarked #

      I think you can get that information from your state court.

  35. Genevieve Dennis on the 16. Aug, 2013 remarked #

    Around 20% of our clients are divorcees. Time married or amount of time being known by maiden name versus married name made little difference to divorcee’s propensity to change names. Some did it within a year of divorce. Many wome waited 15 years or longer to reclaim their name, usually once their kids were grown up. Unlike newly weds, divorcees scored more highly on emotional benchamrks for being happier, more confident and having an impoved sense of identity after changing names. If you’re divorced and wondering about name change, do it! 90% of our divorcees surveyed were happier.
    http://www.easynamechange.com

  36. Terry Johnson on the 23. Jun, 2014 remarked #

    How’s does one feel about the woman that’s been married and divorced three times. Then after the third divorce; requests having her name changed back to her second ex-husband, whom passed away while married to another woman??

    Terry

  37. Amber on the 05. Aug, 2014 remarked #

    I am so thankful for this! I have to decide about my name by 8 a.m. in the morning, as I am going to court tomorrow to finalize divorce. I get one name change with divorce and I figure no better time to take the dive than now. Your blog and the awesome comments have verified my desire to change back to maiden. I wasn’t really attached to that name either but will feel better having it than having my ex husbands name. I have three precious children that are all young, but the comment above that said what lesson does that show your young children if you will change your name for a man but not for yourself. And that is a lesson I don’t want to show my children. I will change back to maiden and if I do by chance ever remarry, I will hyphenate with my maiden. I will never fully rid myself of my identity ever again. I am praying I am making the right choice for me! The last comment about 90% of people that changed their name were happy about it, gives me hope that I will be happy with the decision soon.

    • Donna Ferber on the 05. Aug, 2014 remarked #

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know others will benefit by reading, not just about your decision, but your thought process. Good luck!

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