A Special Essay from a “Guest Blogger”…
Whatever you may be struggling with, I thought ‘JE’s metaphor of cleaning out her garden really makes its point. Please feel free to share your thoughts.
How does your garden grow?
Spring Cleaning and Reflecting on a Year in Recovery
I am an avid gardener. I know the importance of fall clean up. Six months ago, cleaning the flower beds was very low on my list of things to do.
The winter came and went and here we are in the dawn of the growing season. And still, raking out the perennial beds was low man on the totem pole. Well…I blew my chance at an easy clean up. There is no more ignoring the state my flower bed was in. Plants have poked their pretty green heads out of the ground. With this new growth there lay the wreckage of last year’s bounty.
It is overwhelming. Where to start? Maybe I will just move to another house.
Back to reality; I grabbed my garden gloves, pruners and a wheelbarrow. I need to keep this simple.
I start pruning back the spent plant material and winter kill. As I take on this task I move swiftly. I find my mind reflecting on my year in recovery. I make a parallel: Cutting out all the dead material which is just plain chaos in the garden bed, is like cutting alcohol out of my life.
I step away from the project and rest.
When I come back, I look around and see real progress made. Now the big stuff is out of the way, I can really reach in and get rid of the debris that is not letting the plants grow. Although this is a big undertaking, with hard work, focus and persistence, I am getting this job done.
As I reflect back on my year in recovery I am aware that I could not have address my problems until I identified the biggest obstacle in my life; my addiction to alcohol. Once I surrendered to this problem and made a decision to change, I was able to start healing, learning, fixing and growing.
I have found my voice that I lost many, many years ago. Today I am grateful.
JE
Dear JE
What a beautiful metaphor for your renewed focus, your renewed life.
While I am not a gardener, I feel deeply that which spring gives to us with its rebirth.
Thank you for giving us your story and, with it, hope for all of us who continually struggle with finding our own voices.
CJ
Your words are very true for me too! It can be overwhelming but when some work is done you can stand back and be so proud of yourself, and that feels awesome!
Your story was moving and close to my heart. My mom is now sober over two years, and I confess that I wasn’t sure she could do it (although I gave her all of my support).
You are so strong, and your story is beautifully written.